What is Consent?

Consent is needed for a number of things in our everyday life.

Overall, consent is obtaining the permission or approval of something before you follow through.

On this page, we’ll be looking at how consent applies to sexual relationships, what it looks like and most importantly, what it does not look like.

Someone consents to sexual activity if they agree by choice and have both the freedom and capacity to make that choice.

If someone says ‘no’ to any kind of sexual activity, they are not agreeing to it. But, if someone doesn’t say ‘no’ out loud, that doesn’t automatically mean that they have agreed to it either.

Consent must be...

Freely Given

No one should feel pressured, forced, manipulated, or coerced into to doing anything they do not want to do.

Consent is always reversible, meaning that a person may agree to an activity earlier in the day/week or even seconds/minutes and then realise that they n longer want to proceed. If someone changes their mind and no longer wants to partake in sexual activity, that does not mean they should be made to feel bad/guilt-tripped back into proceeding. Their decision to stop should be respected!

Informed

Consent should always be informed. This means knowing what is happening before, during, and after the activity.

Enthusiastic

Enthusiastic consent means looks at the enthusiasm of the ‘yes’. Enthusiastic consent can look like confirming there is reciprocal interest before initiating verbal or physical sexual activity (‘Would you like it if I did this?’), periodically checking in with your partner (‘Is this okay?’), continuously expressing comfort and pleasure (smiling, nodding, making eye contact) and saying “yes” freely and voluntarily.

Specific

Being firm in setting boundaries and making it clear about what you will or will not engage in. For example, this could be discussing what you like, what/if you would prefer condoms or other forms of birth control is used etc.

Consent cannot be given when:

Someone is unconscious or asleep
Someone is under the influence of alcohol or drugs
Someone is pressured or coerced into engaging in sexual activity
By law, someone under the age of 16 does not have the capacity to consent to sex

If you are not sure whether consent is being given – always check. If you see or suspect someone is not 100% comfortable or happy with that’s happening, you should always stop.