When people experience relationship problems, it can cause great distress. Most of us would like to have committed and healthy relationships and the breakdown of an important relationship can create many different feelings of anger, sadness and grief.
The breakdown of a romantic relationship can be devastating, particularly if it comes as a shock to one of you that a partner was unhappy in the relationship. This can make you feel hurt, betrayed and distressed.
Things to Watch Out For
Moving On Too Quickly
After a break-up, some people can feel so lonely that they rush into another relationship, partly out of their fears of being alone. This is a common reaction, which can lead to problems further into a new relationship. If you get involved with someone too quickly, you may find yourself choosing someone who you would not normally have considered. This means that you may not be as compatible with your new partner once you have gotten over the original break-up and start to feel like yourself again.
Loss of Confidence
A messy break-up can leave your pride and self-worth in tatters, especially if infidelity was involved in your relationship breakdown. You may find it helpful to accept that just as someone can fall in love, they can also fall out of love. It may not mean there is anything you could have done to stop it. Remember that if one or both of you were unhappy in the relationship, by breaking up, you now both have the chance to meet new partners who have the potential to make you both happier in the future.
Look On the Bright Side
It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. If you had some happy times with your ex, think about these positive memories and appreciate that some people haven’t even had such experiences with another person. If you have had good times with your ex, then you can look forward to having better times in the future with someone more suited to you.
Learn From This Experience
It can be useful to look back on the relationship and try to see it objectively. You can perhaps see things in the relationship that you can learn from. Experiences can be used to make you a supportive and loving partner for the future. Remember not to dwell too much on the past; you cannot change your actions. You can use your newfound perspective to help you once you have moved on.
Look After Yourself
Some people find it helpful after a break-up to use their free time to indulge in pampering themselves. Get that new hairstyle you always wanted, join the gym and try a new exercise class, or join a society to spend more time on your interests. Make sure that you take the time to get to know yourself again; you may find yourself enjoying each day and maybe even more so now!
Support within the University
Faith@CampusLife's listening service offers a listening ear to whoever needs it – irrespective of religion, if any. These chats can happen via phone or video calling, whichever you feel most comfortable using. If you would like to speak to a particular member of the team then please indicate who that is when you contact them. To access this service please contact Listeningservice.email@example.com
Swansea University’s Wellbeing Service provides mental health and autistic spectrum condition (ASC) guidance and support to students: this includes one-to-one support with mental health and autism practitioners, mentors and counsellors, academic adjustments and self-help resources and courses. You can view the range of support available here. You can also request support by completing the Wellbeing Support Request Form. The Wellbeing Service can be contacted by email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Swansea Student's Union Societies
The Students Union have a range of different societies which you may find helpful and interesting to you. You can find all the current societies on the website. Joining a society will give you a great opportunity to do something you enjoy as well as meet new people.
Swansea University Gym
Taking part in physical activity is a great way to help with how you are feeling. The gym itself if great as well as the fitness classes which are schedued. Take a look at the website for more informtion on how to join and get involved.
Togetherall is a digital mental health service freely available at togetherall.com. Using your University email address, you can anonymously access support 24/7 with trained clinicians online at all times, as well as a range of helpful tools and resources. It is a safe place online to get things off your chest, have conversations, express yourself creatively and learn how to manage your mental health. You can access it here: https://www.swansea.ac.uk/wellbeing/togetherall/
If you need information or you are worried about something, feel upset or confused, or you just want to talk to someone, the SAMARITANS provide confidential emotional support, 24 hours a day. Contact the Samaritans by email or at www.samaritans.org or phone (from the UK) 08457 90 90 90 or 116 123 from a mobile.